True Lies

AKA Missing In Action

Where have I been? Last Saturday I was abducted by terrorists from my Aunt Vera's surprise birthday party and transported to San Diego in the trunk of a Nissan Altima with bad shifting. The only way I was able to stay alive was to pretend I was an oncologist and participate in a cancer conference until I was rescued by Jack Bauer. Unfortunately he couldn't bring me all the way back to The No due to another emergency, so he dropped me off with a really nice lady in Agresstic named Lacy LaPlante. I think she was from Canada. Eventually I made it back to the SJV by hitching a ride with some really cute firefighters who were on their way to a fire in the grapevine. I spent my entire Friday explaining to my boyfriend Gregory House, MD, where I've been and who the heck Jack Bauer was. I told him to chill and take a Vicodin. Sheesh, boyfriends can be so jealous sometimes.

Anyways, I'm home now and I'll explain all the details and post pictures soon.

Yvette Z.
The Lie Collector

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