All of Them Butchers

This morning I stopped at Starbucks for some coffee. I really hate the part where they ask my name to write on the cup.

I usually say my name and then spell it for them. Yvette. Y-v-e-t-t-e.

IS THAT SO FLIPPING HARD?????? (in my best Napoleon Dynamite accent) GOSH!!!!!!

Apparently, it is.

Today it was spelled Y-v-e-t-t. The barista who handed me my cup took it another step further, he pronounced it "you-et". I guess he thought the v was a u.

*sigh*

I'm a bit sensitive about my name, its spelling, and its pronounciation. I don't think it's hard, but a lot of people have trouble with it. It's pronounced with a long e. EEEE-vet. Not Yeh-vet, or Ih-vet (short i like the i in is), or Yah-vet. I'm truly amazed how many people can correctly say Yvonne, but not Yvette. What's the difference????

In the past, I've made up easy names to spare myself from the pain. I'll tell them Eve or I'll give them my porn star name Sandy Ashcroft (your first pet's name and the street you grew up on). I've even tried my nickname that most of my friends and family call me, Vet, but that gets just as confusing for those poor cashiers.

AND DON'T EVEN SUGGEST THAT I GO BY MY MIDDLE NAME EITHER!!!!! That, my friends, is even more unpronounceable. I don't even tell people what my middle name is anymore. My friends from high school may remember it, but none of them can pronounce it. Outside of my immediate family, there was only one person who could pronounce it right. And when he did...it would send chills down my spine.

So, as of Monday, I'm changing my name to Ann Smith. Hmmm, maybe I should just crank it up to 11 and change my name to Sakura Utsunomiya or Itxaro Etxabeguren.

The Nameless Collector

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